I’m just finishing up AO YR9 with our third child and this past year we coordinated an online group which met once a week for an hour and half to narrate and discuss their books. Readings included Gullivers Travels, Salem Witch Trials, Count of Monte Cristo, The Four Loves, Common Sense, Pride & Prejudice, Marcet’s Fairy Tales (Essays), Faust, and Ourselves by Charlotte Mason.
It was a privilege to hear these young students and their discussions. I am more convinced than ever that Charlotte Mason’s methods facilitate magnanimous minds.
One of the last readings we did for the group was the chapter on Vocation in Ourselves. What a contrast to today’s ideas of living for self and “you do you.” The chapter was all about knowing that you (the student) are needed and preparing today to fulfill that need; that particular bit of the world’s work that you are called to.
She talks about the importance of being prepared:
Everyone has immense ‘chances,’ as they are called; but the business of each is to be ready for his chance. The boy who got a medal from the Royal Humane Society for saving life, was ready for his chance; he had learned to swim; and, also, he had practised himself in the alert mind and generous temper which made him see the right thing to do and do it on the instant, without thought of the labour or danger of his action; without any thought, indeed, but of the struggling, sinking creature in the water.
She goes on to contrast those who are heedless and makes a point that being in the habit of being of service prepares you to do so in the future.
Jack, in whose pocket a note is found three days after it should have been delivered, Nellie, whose parcel comes to pieces in the post––say, ‘Oh, that sort of thing’s no trouble to Tom and Edith; they like it, you know.’ It is quite true that they like it, because we all like to do what we do well; but––nobody can do well what he has not had a good deal of practice in doing; and you may depend upon it that the useful members of a family have had much practice in being of use, that is, they have looked out for their chances.
Servant or Master?––Each of us has in his possession an exceedingly good servant or a very bad master, known as Habit. The heedless, listless person is a servant of habit; the useful, alert person is the master of a valuable habit. The fact is, that the things we do a good many times over leave some sort of impression in the very substance of our brain; and this impression, the more often it is repeated, makes it the easier for us to do the thing the next time. We know this well enough as it applies to skating, hockey, and the like. We say we want practice, or, are out of practice, and must get some practice; but we do not realise that, in all the affairs of our life, the same thing holds good. What we have practice in doing we can do with ease, while we bungle over that in which we have little practice.
The Law of Habit.––This is the law of habit, which holds good as much in doing kindnesses as in playing the piano. Both habits come by practice; and that is why it is so important not to miss a chance of doing the thing we mean to do well
It’s interesting that she sees the lazy person who we might think of as enjoying their own freedom, is who she says is a “slave” to his own bad habits. She ends the section saying that the call is sure and makes clear whose work students are ultimately preparing themselves for:
Of this thing I am quite sure, that his calling, or, if you like to name it so, his chance, comes to the person who is ready for it. That is why the all-round preparation of body, mind, soul, and heart is necessary for the young knight who is waiting to be called. He will want every bit of himself in the royal service that is appointed him; for it is a royal service. God, who fixes the bounds of our habitation, does not leave us blundering about in search of the right thing; if He find us waiting, ready and willing, He gives us a call. It may come in the advice of a friend, or in an opening that may present itself, or in the opinion of our parents, or in some other of the quiet guidings of life that come to those who watch for them, and who are not self-willed; or it may come in a strong wish on our own part for some particular work for which we show ourselves fit.
But this, I think, we may be sure of, that his call comes as truly to a ploughman as to a peer, to a dairymaid as to a duchess.
I think for us mamas we think of our children’s habits in terms of how helpful it would be if so-and-so would just put their shoes away, or do their laundry, or finish their school in the allotted amount of time – things that would make my life easier. And yes, those things are daily habits that matter. At the same time, I love how Charlotte Mason paints a bigger picture here. Our children’s lives and purposes grow far beyond our own and we can’t know what all they will be called to.
Not too long ago our 19yo son went to surf with a couple friends and on the way came across a guy who asked to see his friend’s skateboard. His friend let him use it and after a while he asked him for it back and the guy walked up to him and instead of giving it back, took full swing at his friend with the skateboard and then hit him a second time with it. Without thinking, my son reacted and grabbed hold of the guy and had him down on the ground in moments. The police arrived shortly after and thankfully the man was arrested. My son said he could see in his eyes that he was on some heavy drugs.
It was a few months prior to this incident that a couple friends from church had suggested my son take jiu-jitsu classes. He had been going for a while and had practiced close encounter combat. When we talked with him after the incident, he said as soon as it happened, it was just like he was in class, he didn’t have to think, he just went into motion just as he had practiced many times before. He said when he had the man down, that’s when he wasn’t sure what to do because in class it ends when the person taps out. We are so grateful that he was prepared when it mattered that day. Could he or I have predicted that habit would be necessary that day?
The Lord has a plan for our children’s lives and it won’t always fit our own. Doing our part, and then giving them up to the Lord and trusting him is part of how he sanctifies us. Our children won’t have perfect habits in the context of our home, but the Lord is faithfully preparing them according to the counsel of His perfect will.
The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.Proverbs 16:9